Language of Love
There are various ways to express and receive the love with your near once, it could be your partner, children, parents, sibling or close friend. Not everyone shows their love in the same way, and likewise, people have different ways they prefer to receive love. According to Gary Chapman’s best-selling book on the five ways most people “speak” love and show you how to connect more deeply with loved ones are: words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, physical touch, and giving/receiving gifts. Let me elaborate these:
Words of Affirmation (To be verbally acknowledged)- These are compliments and words of appreciation and encouragement directed at the other person. Words of Affirmation are not flattery designed to manipulate the other person. “The aim of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love,” . Words of Affirmation are genuine statements that you speak from the heart. People with words of affirmation as a love language value verbal acknowledgments of affection, including frequent “I love you’s,” compliments, words of appreciation, verbal encouragement, and often frequent digital communication like texting and social media engagement. Some examples are here “You look so gorgeous in that dress.”, “I love how you’re always on time to pick me up.” “What a great daughter you are — helping your mom at your busiest time.” “You’ll make the business work — I know how determined you are”, When you do something nice for your partner, they say, “Thank you,” which makes you feel recognized and affirmed.
Quality Time (To enjoy companionship):- People whose love language is quality time feel the most adored when their partner actively wants to spend time with them and is always down to hang out. This love language is all about giving your undivided attention to that one special person, without the distraction of television, phone screens, or any other outside interference. They have a strong desire to actively spend time with their significant other, having meaningful conversations or sharing recreational activities. Creating memories and special moments together is super important. You feel engage and happy when you are around your partner, even if you aren’t really doing anything. The important thing is you are spending focused time together.
Acts of Service (To have their partners do tasks for them):- This love language is for people who believe that actions speak louder than words. Doing the smaller and bigger chores to make their lives easier or more comfortable is highly cherished. If your love language is acts of service, you value when your partner makes your life easier. It’s things like bringing you soup when you’re sick, making your coffee for you in the morning, or picking up your dry cleaning for you when you’ve had a busy day at work. If you’re feeling stressed or tired, it would be nice if your partner saw it as an opportunity to step up and make you feel better, That small act helps you feel taken care of.
Receiving Gifts (To be given tokens of love):- Gifts is a pretty straightforward love language: You feel loved when people give you “visual symbols of love, It’s not about the monetary value but the symbolic thought behind the item. People with this style recognize and value the gift-giving process: the careful reflection, the deliberate choosing of the object to represent, the key is to give meaningful things that matter to them and reflect their values, not necessarily yours. During holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries, you want to celebrate it with a present of some kind. Those days are extra special, and you love using those days as a reminder of your commitment.
Physical Touch (To be in contact via the body):- People who communicate their appreciation through this language, when both of them consent to it, feel appreciated when they are hugged, kissed, or cuddled. They value the feeling of warmth and comfort that comes with physical touch. It’s as easy as reaching out for connection by squeezing their arm while you’re watching a movie.
Now out of all these ways to connect, find out which all you want from your loved one or which all they wants from you. Being mindful and clear about your and their expectations will help to smoothen your relationship. Few more significant things in relationship are: making strategies to resolve conflicts, being respectful and honest to your loved once, listening actively and understanding. Never forget to love yourself it is also very crucial. You can love others only if you love yourself first.